Why We Worship Shiva but Fear Choice

A quote recently caught my attention:

"A society that celebrates Shivratri with great devotion still condemns love marriages."

The more I sat with it, the more uncomfortable it became.

Because it is true.

The irony.

Shiva wasn't the socially approved groom. He was the outsider. The ascetic. The unconventional choice.

Yet we celebrate Shiva and Parvati as one of the greatest love stories in our mythology. We admire Parvati's devotion, her determination, and her unwavering choice of Shiva. She chose him despite resistance, despite opposition, despite having to undertake immense tapasya for that union.

In many tellings, their marriage is one of the few divine relationships that is fundamentally based on choice, not arrangement, not duty, and not political alliance.

Yet when real people exercise that same right to choose, society often becomes uneasy. Why?

Perhaps because mythology is easier to celebrate than its lessons!

We often celebrate the mythology while resisting the principle it embodies. Ironic, isn’t it?

Shiva repeatedly represents the dissolution of artificial structures. He sits outside social hierarchies. He doesn't care much for appearances, status, or societal approval. He was completely uninterested in fitting into society's expectations.

Yet Parvati chose him.

Not because he was approved by everyone around her, but because she recognised something deeper. The connection.

At its heart, their story is not just about love. It is about choice.

And choice has always made society uncomfortable.

I can’t stop thinking that if we worship a love story built on individual choice and devotion, why do we become uncomfortable when real people exercise that same choice?

The choice to choose a relationship.

The choice to leave an unhappy marriage.

The choice to remain single.

The choice to question inherited beliefs.

The choice to live differently from the script handed to us.

Perhaps because choice disrupts order. It challenges tradition. It forces people to confront the possibility that there may be more than one right way to live.

We bow before Shiva, the destroyer of illusion, yet often cling tightly to the very structures he symbolises freedom from.

We worship choice in stories and punish it in reality. We admire courage from a distance while fearing it in real life.

I wonder: Do we worship Shiva because we understand what he stands for, or because we are comfortable with the ritual?

Until next time,
Shuchi