When Did You Stop Being You?
I read something that said...
“Everyone commits suicide differently…
Some stop wearing their favourite clothes.
Some stop clicking pictures.
Some who once loved to travel stay up alone in dark rooms.
Some who wanted to be loved end up living in complete isolation.”
And I think what touched me wasn't the word suicide… I wouldn't call it a form of death, but I do think it points to something many of us experience:
Self-abandonment.
The quiet, almost invisible process of walking away from ourselves. Not all at once…gradually…almost without noticing.
People disappear! Not physically, but psychologically, spiritually and emotionally.
Nobody wakes up one morning and decides to abandon themselves.
It happens slowly…quietly… one small compromise at a time.
We stop wearing the colours we love because they draw too much attention.
We stop speaking up because it creates conflict.
We stop dancing because we feel silly.
We stop creating because there are more important things to do.
We stop dreaming because life feels practical now.
We stop making ourselves a priority because everyone else seems to need something first.
We stop doing the things that make us feel alive and start doing the things that help us belong.
The most dangerous form of self-abandonment is not the one you notice.
It is the one you slowly adapt to.
Not because life got busy…
But because somewhere along the way, fitting in became more important than feeling alive.
Sometimes the biggest clue that you've abandoned yourself is not what you're doing… It's what you've stopped doing.
So, answer this for me: what parts of yourself did you sacrifice to feel accepted, loved, approved of, or safe..
When did you stop being you?
Not the version the world approved of.
Not the version that became responsible.
Not the version that learned to survive.
You.
And if reading this touched something within you, if a quiet voice reminded you of what you lost along the way, perhaps the more important question to reflect on, until we meet next, is:
What would it take to welcome that person back?
Shuchi
